no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
