Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
