We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize