the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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