I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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