TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
