You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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