I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
