So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dick very happy bro
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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