there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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