; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize