I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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