Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
