Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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