i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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