weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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