She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
3pm strippers are depressing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
