I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
