who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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