i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
