I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
well you can't waste a boner
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4ā¦
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