I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
