Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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