sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
