I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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