i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
