I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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