Betty ford says i'm here all night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
