It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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