im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
