I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
