He uses pillows to masturbate.
I've blown a few things in my day
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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