The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
