Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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