so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do vagina's smell?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
