she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize