Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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