I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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