dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
