it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
