Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
