I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize