better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
