TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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