$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Drunk is not a location!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
