ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
