i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
