first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
