She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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