I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
