Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
