I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize