just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
