I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
