What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize