just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
