Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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