she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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