Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
