she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
