I must be too annoying 4 u.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
